


Five Times Bilbo Fell and One (Two) Time(s) he fell in love

by alkjira



Series: Fix-it (!) December [11]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Smut, Fix-It, M/M, M/M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started in the Shire when Bilbo fell off his pony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this on my phone as I don't have a laptop at the moment. So bear with me if anything is weird, and that this is also a bit bare bones as to spare my fingers.  
> I'm also half asleep now lol  
> But I wanted to have this written

It started in the Shire when Bilbo fell off his pony.

More or less fell off anyway as he ended up hanging from it, one leg tangled up in the reins

The pony liked having a Hobbit hanging from it about as much as Bilbo liked being the Hobbit hanging from it, and things might have ended up dire indeed if Dwalin hadn't caught the animal by the bit and stopped it from running off.

Still hanging mostly upside down Bilbo looked up at Dwalin. "Thank you." The Hobbit wriggled a little but stopped immediately when his pony grumbled. "Um, would you mind helping me down?"

"Better we help you back up," Nori said and Bilbo tried to turn his head to look at him but froze again as the pony whinnied.

He didn't have time to make any comments on the matter before Nori had dismounted and was lifting him up, quite enthusiastically and with the result that Bilbo might have fallen down on the other side of the pony hadn't Dwalin been there to catch him.

Supported by one Dwarf on each side Bilbo felt rather safe. And warm. A bit cosy even. But it would be a rather impractical way of riding.

-

He hadn't meant to do it regardless of what Thorin's furrowed brow might imply.

The river was freezing cold and Bilbo lost his breath the very same moment he hit the water after slipping on the wrong rock. Spluttering more from shock than anything else; the water wasn't deep at all, just terribly cold, Bilbo tried standing up but ended up falling again, splashing himself quite thoroughly.

Getting picked up by his collar by Dwalin in the same manner you'd pick up a wet kitten was a bit humiliating, but Bilbo couldn't really focus on such things as his teeth were busy trying to chatter their way out of his jaw.

"He'll need new clothes," Balin said. "It's too long 'til we'll be stopping for the evening."

"I'M-m-m-muh-" Bilbo had intended to say that he was fine, but since he physically couldn't say the words he was forced to admit that he wasn't entirely fine.

"I've got a spare-" Fíli began but Dwalin talked over him.

"He can use my extra shirt." Dwalin's shirt was like a dress on Bilbo.

It smelled of something spicy and several times Bilbo caught himself taking deep breaths through his nose.

-

Using the barrels to escape from the Elven realm had been an excellent plan. Not remembering that he wouldn't be able to both be in a barrel and send his barrelled companions on their way was not as excellent.

Bilbo might have screamed as he fell through the hatch, but just like the last time he fell into cold water he also fell silent immediately afterwards.

Clinging to Noris barrel Bilbo tried as best as he could to keep his head above water. Thankfully this river water wasn't nearly as cold as the last time Bilbo ended up taking a surprise bath, and with Nori's help he did manage to not-drown on the trip down the river. Not that it was pleasant. No far from it.

And this time there was nothing dry for him to borrow as everyone was just as wet and miserable.

"Cheer up," Nori said and slung his arm around Bilbo's shoulders, giving him a squeeze. "It's not as bad as all that. We're at least rid of the Elves now."

Bilbo hummed, and after that he very carefully did not point out to Nori how his arm was still a warm comforting weight over his shoulders.

Nori didn't protest when Bilbo inched a little closer, so perhaps he did not mind being used as a walking heat source.

-

Bilbo had never run that fast before. But he'd never been chased by a Dragon either so those things were very likely related.

The speed which with he was going ensured that he flew quite the distance when he tripped and fell.

Thankfully he'd managed to lose Smaug somehow, and he'd run far enough that there was actually someone there to catch him.

"You all right?" Dwalin asked, setting Bilbo back on his feet and Bilbo had time to nod and take a breath before all the others crowded in and demanded to know everything that he'd seen.

-

It was fairly meaningless to shout at someone who was unconscious and it was indeed likely that Thorin would not hear him, but as Óin had _promised_ that he would wake up and be back to his normal grumpy self Bilbo considered it practice.

Fíli and Kíli (injured in arm and leg respectively) has hobbled off a while ago to try and find a quieter place to rest and Bilbo felt a bit bad about that, but not bad enough to stop shouting. "You," he hissed at Thorin, voice beginning to tire. "Are never allowed to have another plan in your entire life! Ever again!"

Feeling that it summed everything up quite nicely Bilbo stormed out of the tent, or tried to. In the attempt he ended bouncing off a wall that had just appeared outside the tent's opening, a wall that upon closer inspection was revealed to be Dwalin.

As Bilbo sat dazedly on the ground Nori peered out from behind the larger Dwarf.

"Are you done yelling? We brought dinner." Still sitting on the ground Bilbo made a sound between a snort and a sniffle and when his shoulders started to shake he didn't even know if he was laughing or crying. 

-

The next day Bilbo woke up and saw red. Red hair to be precise. 

After making sure that he ate Dwalin and Nori had followed him to the tent where Bilbo would be staying. Discovering that it was entirely empty and quite roomy the pair invited themselves in. 

And without checking with him first they decided that it was nap time and Bilbo found himself on a pile of furs, Nori and Dwalin blanketing him on each side.

Sleeping while being held turned out to be surprisingly wonderful and Bilbo was slow to swim his way back up from unconsciousness.  

Nori moved and red hair made way for sleepy green eyes and Nori smiled at Bilbo when he noticed that the Hobbit was awake. _Oh,_ Bilbo thought as his heart did an extra couple of thuds.

"Morning."

The greeting was echoed by Dwalin on Bilbo's other side and when Bilbo turned to look at him clouded grey eyes peered back. 

 _Oh_ , again. 

Deciding that almost dying countless time was cause enough to throw caution to the wind in matters as these Bilbo stretched his neck and lightly pressed his lips to Dwalin's, reaching behind himself to fumble for Nori's hand. 


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you read the first chapter note that the rating has gone up. Take some time to wonder why that might be before proceeding.
> 
> Hint: continued where the last chapter ended. In bed.

Dwalin kissed him back, but only for a moment before Bilbo found himself being gently pushed backwards.  
  
The protesting sound Bilbo made must have had a note of inquiry to it, because - 

“You did get knocked on your head earlier,” Nori said, and when Bilbo turned to look at him the redhead squeezed his hand. “And you just woke up. You sure you know who you are, who we are, and what’s going on here?”  
  
Bilbo stared at him. “You’re picking _this_ moment to be cautious, and _this_ -“ he gestured between the three of them with his free hand. “-to be cautious about when I’ve oh so very recently seen the both of you take on an army of Orcs, Wargs, Trolls and those hideous bats when you could have stayed safe and sound inside of Erebor and-”

“He seems to know us,” Nori said conversationally to Dwalin who was frowning.  
  
“You were also on the battlefield. The Wizard said that he’d urged you to leave.”  
  
“Now see here-“ Bilbo said and poked Dwalin’s chest. “If _I_ had been cautious I wouldn’t have come in the first place. I wouldn’t have gone to spy on a Dragon. I wouldn’t have taken that stupid stone. And I wouldn’t have _kissed_ you!” The Hobbit tried to cross his arms only to discover that Nori was still holding his left hand. “You can let go now.”  
  
“No, I can’t,” Nori said, leaning in to cover Bilbo’s lips with his.  
  
Nori’s kisses were slow and lazy, as unhurried as if they’d all the time in the world. In contrast to that there were quick, sharp nips of teeth every so often, making Bilbo gasp and moan, and he could _feel_ Nori’s smile, felt it widen when Dwalin made an impatient sound and threaded his thick fingers in Nori’s hair, tugging slightly to coax him away from Bilbo who didn’t at _all_ think it was a good idea. Not until Dwalin kissed him that was.  
  
Bilbo hadn’t expected him to be gentler than Nori, but he was, and thorough, finding all the ways a kiss could make Bilbo shiver and squirm and when he pulled back Bilbo had all but melted into the furs from the combined attention he'd received.  
  
He melted the final bit when Dwalin and Nori kissed each other, leaning over him, looking incredibly beautiful together.  
  
Nori was still holding Bilbo’s hand and the Hobbit was beginning to think he might never get it back (something he was surprisingly okay with) and he shifted his grip, twining their fingers together.   
  
A moment later Dwalin’s bigger hand wrapped around both their hands.  
  
-  
  
“What if someone comes in?” Bilbo breathed as furs were pushed to the side and clothes began to be peeled away.  
  
“Dwalin can growl at them,” Nori said as he pulled his tunic over his head. “Works on most people.”  
  
“Never worked on you,” Dwalin snorted.  
  
“I’m not most people,” Nori grinned. “Which suits me just fine, most people are stupid.” He swept the long braid he’d tied up his hair in over his shoulder and . “Which reminds me, are most Hobbits extremely stupid or how come you didn’t leave anyone behind when you decided to stop being cautious?” He waggled his eyebrows. “You can tell us.”  
  
Behind Nori’s back Dwalin rolled his eyes.  
  
“I don’t know,” Bilbo said, a little distracted by the gold rings hanging from Nori’s nipples, entirely within reach, so it was the easiest thing in the world to stretch out and brush his fingers over one. “I guess never really fallen in love with anyone before. Much less two at the same time.”  
  
Nori made a small choked noise and Bilbo snatched his hand back, afraid that he’d somehow managed to hurt him. However he didn’t know why Dwalin made a noise like a dying cow, Bilbo hadn’t even touched _him_ at the time.  
  
“I’m keeping you,” Nori breathed and then Bilbo’s lap was full of mostly naked Dwarf.  
  
-  
  
A little later still Bilbo was straddling Dwalin’s lap while Nori straddled Dwalin’s thighs, Nori’s front pressed to Bilbo’s back. And that wasn’t _all_ that was pressed to Bilbo’s back, just for the record.  
  
But they didn’t have any oil, and Bilbo was not in the state of mind that he wanted to go looking for it. And the idea of Dwalin or Nori leaving the little nest they’d made was equally bad.  
  
However never let it be said that Nori didn’t have some excellent ideas. (And some less than excellent ones but that's a story for another day.)

Dwalin was already leaking quite a lot, head of his cock peeking out from the foreskin to allow drop after drop of slick fluid to trickle down on his hairy stomach. And Nori grinned at him over Bilbo’s shoulder, the larger Dwarf giving him a suspicious look in return, somewhat less effective than it normally would have been considering the glazed quality to his eyes.  
  
“I propose-” Nori breathed into Bilbo’s ear, his clever tongue tracing the sensitive shell of it. “- that we make Dwalin spill and then you use his seed to ease the way so you can fuck me.”  
  
It was now Bilbo’s turn to make strained, bleating noises.  
  
-  
  
In the end none of them had the will to attempt something more complicated than simply holding each other close and rutting against each other until they spilled one after one, probably making a terrible mess of the furs and bedding.  
  
Not that Bilbo could find the energy to care. It was quite possible that he’d now melted once and for all and he couldn’t be upset about that either.  
  
He was mostly draped over Dwalin who was dozing. Nori was lying next to them humming as he either braided Bilbo’s hair or tied it up into a million knots and Bilbo was fine with it either way.  
  
For the first time in what felt like forever everything actually felt like it’d really be all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like wintersssssss  
> This comment is unrelated to the fic, but I have to spread my whining around


End file.
